Excerpt from letter I sent to my grandparents, age 8:
"A week ago I swallowed my tooth! I was eating a vanilla wafer and it's how I swallowed my tooth."
I lost another one to corn on the cob after this. Sadly my adult teeth emerged in the most frightening, crooked mess ever seen. I am the before and after success story of orthodontia. My mother will be glad to know that I have long since given up the dream of torturing my orthodontist to make up for the pain he inflicted on my metal-bound mouth. Yes, it was worth it.