Monday, June 23, 2008

80 years, still hurting

From a column in the Toledo Blade:

Father's Day was never a favorite holiday for me as a child. When I saw it coming on the calendar I was uneasy. Would it be my Sunday to be with my dad? If it weren't, I would have to wish him a Happy Father's Day on the Sunday before or after.

As a child of divorce, who as a senior citizen still feels the pain, I share these personal experiences for divorced single parents. It is not a request for sympathy, but a message that I hope will sink in to single mothers and fathers.

We all hear the staggering numbers of today's divorce rates. Back in the early '30s, on the brink of the Great Depression, it was quite uncommon. I was 3 years old. All I remember is that one day my dad didn't come home from the post office, and from that day on I saw him every other Sunday, according to a court order, and two weeks in summer.


Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I still have trouble "visiting" with my dad, and that was almost 20 years ago that my parents divorced. I was always uncomfortable around him.

Anonymous said...

Since divorce is painful enough, I recommend that parents use a document service. It's much more amicable and doesn't drag the kids as much through it. I found one that I really like. It's

Anonymous said...

Interesting concept. It could help children deal with divorce.

november said...

I'm always struck when older people speak about the absence of their dads and how it has continued to affect their lives. Just recently another person, a man in his sixties, was sharing his story with me and his sentiments were similar to this gentleman's.

It's also somewhat encouraging given that my stepfather's attitude is that I should just "get over it". He doesn't understand that it's not something that you can dismiss so easily, or at all. No, I don't wear it on my sleeve and nor is it raw pain, but there remains some hurt there and it still colors my experience.

Thanks for posting this. I've just discovered your blog today and already it such a blessing. Thank you :)