Thanksgiving, the divorce way

I've heard some pretty odd misconceptions and generalizations that people make about divorced families, but by far the funniest I've ever heard was of a person who assumed that people in a divorced family didn't eat a traditional Thanksgiving meal, as if the right and ability to throw a turkey in the oven was somehow written into the marriage license. Once revoked, it's pizza and Chinese takeout, poor souls. (These are the same people, by the way, who think single people can't cook. FYI, I made roasted salmon with a lemon-tarragon butter sauce wrapped in Swiss chard, and acorn squash for dinner last night. My stepfather once said to me, "You can cook like this and you're not married?" Listen, if it were a bake-off, I'd have suitors throwing themselves at my feet.)

So, in honor of those hilariously misinformed people, I give you, the Divorced Family Thanksgiving Meal:

• One turkey dog, delicately microwaved and nestled in a top-split bun, garnished with amusing inedibles.
• A side of ketchup-sauce, just like cranberry sauce if served cold.
• A generous helping of rippled potato chips, sour cream and chive dip optional.
• And for dessert, two perfectly perched pecan sandies.

I've chosen to display my Thanksgiving meal on a piece of china, but you could just as easily use an elegantly ruffle-edged paper plate. No plastic or silver ware necessary.

Bon Appetit!