Sunday, December 11, 2005

Lost: I don't know what

My midnight muse and I have been sitting here thinking about what we're missing. I bought a new car earlier this year, my first brand-new, fresh off the lot vehicle. All I knew was I wanted leather seats and a sun roof, and since I was taking one of the last of the old models the selection was limited. I ended up with a Spice Red beauty with extras that I hadn't even counted on. My leather seats are heated, which is absolutely amazing now that the weather has turned cold. I have a short commute, so there's barely time for heat to make its way through the vents; but in less than a minute, I feel the warm summer sun on my back as the heated seat enfolds me in warmth. How could I have done without heated seats all these years?? I first heard about heated seats years ago when a friend in college dated an older guy who had them in his Volvo. I thought it was the most ridiculous, over-the-top thing I'd ever heard. Now I see them for what they are--a basic necessity! OK, I'm kidding, but boy are they nice! I just never knew.

A few years back, I read Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. She talks at one point about two girls, one from a divorced family and one from an intact family. The girl from the intact family was married, the divorced girl wasn't. The major difference seemed to be in their respective attitudes toward marriage. Not that one was pro-marriage and the other wasn't (as some media would have us believe). The difference was that the girl from the intact family had always imagined growing up and having a wonderful man fall in love with her and marry her. The other girl had not grown up with that same confident attitude. The story struck me because I could relate. Meeting Mr. Right has never seemed an absolute certainty to me. I'd love for it to happen, but it seems presumptuous to be that confident. And it hadn't really occured to me that some girls had that level of certainty. I just never knew.

And that makes me wonder what else I don't know. What other ways has my parents' divorce affected me that I'm not even aware of? Like leather seats, perhaps I'll find out in time. For now, I don't know what I'm missing.

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