Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Thanksgiving, the divorce way

I've heard some pretty odd misconceptions and generalizations that people make about divorced families, but by far the funniest I've ever heard was of a person who assumed that people in a divorced family didn't eat a traditional Thanksgiving meal, as if the right and ability to throw a turkey in the oven was somehow written into the marriage license. Once revoked, it's pizza and Chinese takeout, poor souls. (These are the same people, by the way, who think single people can't cook. FYI, I made roasted salmon with a lemon-tarragon butter sauce wrapped in Swiss chard, and acorn squash for dinner last night. My stepfather once said to me, "You can cook like this and you're not married?" Listen, if it were a bake-off, I'd have suitors throwing themselves at my feet.)
So, in honor of those hilariously misinformed people, I give you, the Divorced Family Thanksgiving Meal:

  • One turkey dog, delicately microwaved and nestled in a top-split bun, garnished with amusing inedibles.
  • A side of ketchup-sauce, just like cranberry sauce if served cold.
  • A generous helping of rippled potato chips, sour cream and chive dip optional.
  • And for dessert, two perfectly perched pecan sandies.
I've chosen to display my Thanksgiving meal on a piece of china, but you could just as easily use an elegantly ruffle-edged paper plate. No plastic or silver ware necessary.

Bon Appetit!


lelnet said...

The whole "single people can't cook" thing has, I think, two sources:

1. Outdated ideas about what happens when a single person meets an attractive single person of the opposite sex. Perhaps it used to be true that every man knew whether his girlfriend could cook, but it hasn't been true for folks in the tough early stages since way before I was in the game. Can't speak for you. :)

2. Single people, as a rule, _don't_ cook. Which doesn't mean they're incapable of it...it just means that when you're eating by yourself, it makes less sense, and eating out or grazing from the freezer and microwave look way better. It's just as hard to do serious cooking for one as it is for a whole family, but way less rewarding.

Much as I hate to say anything in favor of divorce, in my case Thanksgiving got way better after my parents split up, since it meant my mother and I moved to Michigan where her whole family was, and the whole "everybody gathers at Aunt Pam's house" Thanksgiving tradition we're still following started including us. Back in California, it'd just been my parents and me, and it was usually pretty depressing.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT!!!!!!! You totally made my day!!!!!
Maybe next year...

Unknown said...

That's a pretty funny picture.

Anonymous said...

That's the best "turkey" ever. I think I might serve that next Thanksgiving!